Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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