A fat guy!

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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hey hey apple

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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