A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Japan

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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I'm HIV positive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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