what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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