Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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