Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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