How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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