Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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non poop

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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