The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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