Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops