Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

rarw

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops