A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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