What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

why did the blue berry cross the road

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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