When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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