What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's a good joke? Not this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

the lemon was sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops