Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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