What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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