Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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