A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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