A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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read me write me

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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women's rights

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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