(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops