What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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