Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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p

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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