What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Julian Ha.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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