what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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