roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

why does the man appear fat he is

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

meatspin.fr

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...