Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

So you have been really stressed lately huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -38

24

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops