what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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