What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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