what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Your mam is so fat.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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