What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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Female Orgasms

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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