What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Religion.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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kkkk

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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