What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the boy drop his vannlai ice cream?because Vannlia ice came.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops