- Anti Joke

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

Guess Penn State Is Holding Jerry Sandusky Day this Saturday against Nebraska. All Kids 10 and Under get in Free...

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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