Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Set up Punch line.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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