Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

Q: What's the difference between a black man from San Diego and a white man from Miami? A: They live in different cities, and in the presidential election, the black man voted for Obama and the white man voted for McCain

a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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