What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops