Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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( . Y . )

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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