There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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salad days!

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Granny porn!

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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