What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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It's all Taggart

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops