Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? So it would not get hit

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops