Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops