Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Justin Beiber

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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they're dead. idiot.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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who else is on here?

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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