Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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This is not funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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