What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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You sick fiend

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Poker face

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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