i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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69

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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