What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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