whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops