Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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hear hear

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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what has genitial warts? me

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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