The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

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An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

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David Cameron

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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