What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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My mum is called Steve

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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